Older, But No Wilder
Van Wilder 2: Rise of Taj
Movie review by Nick Olds
You know what the problem with unnecessary sequels is? Unnecessary reviews. Anyone who saw the first Van Wilder
flick (henceforth known as VW1) knows the lay of the land here: dick jokes, frat parties, trust-fund pricks, and dialogue
along the likes of “I’m hard…I mean, hard-pressed” and “nudes…I mean news.” Oh and of course everything
works out for Taj played by Kal Penn (Harold& Kumar Go to White Castle), as his team of losers becomes the lives of
the party by unlocking their drinking potential. Also, as we’ve come to expect, the movie wraps up with the typical deus
ex machina ending as Taj gets the girl and destroys the smarmy villain. Same shite, different night out.
Except that it’s Brit boys vs. Indians (from
between a middle class/less attractive guy with personality (Taj) and a handsome rich bowel movement with family
connections (Brit enemy). The plot is not dissimilar to VW1, wherein Van got expelled, went through a coming-of-age
awakening, then the school board let him back in. But in this one, Taj gets expelled, has a party, then gets back in
‘cause director Mort Nathan had to hurry up and end this turd.
Looks like the end of the review, doesn’t it? You’re thinking this’ll be a quick one for a change. Wrong. Rise of Taj
raises some very important ethical issues perfect for discussing when you “accidentally” run into that certain
acquaintance on the train and you’re riding all the way to her stop:
1. Why does everyone care so much about school in these movies? School pride’s out, man. Nobody’s that
involved anymore. We’ve got the Internet now. “What do you think, Muffy? Nice eyes by the way.”
2. Why does everyone have to have fun in order to learn anything? I understand the
be fun” approach, but I didn’t see anyone in the movie read once. That’s not college - that’s trade school.
"Right Muffy? And do you like Chinese food”
3. Most importantly, Rise of Taj demonstrates two sides of an important debate: is it better to be popular or
anonymous? "What’s your opinion Mu...hey is that a restraining order?”
both. So, let’s try and answer it, shall we?
Popularity: Power and influence, attention and envy, fewer rules, more entitlement
Anonymity: Mean nothing to most and matter to few, exist only as a social security number, be rewarded half as
much for twice the effort
Now for the advantages of being a nobody:
Anonymity: Be whatever you wanna be, behave any way you want, freedom to do what you want
Popularity: You have to portray an image, popularity is short-lived and dehumanizing
all the time
So there ya have it. I’m kinda torn myself, but if being popular is key to seducing the sorority sis I’ve been eying all
night, then I’ll pop my collar, spike my hair, and charm the Capri pants right off her. Believe that.
Rise of Taj. It’s absolutely not worth it, not even on DVD. I’d only recommend watching it as a TBS afternoon movie
when you’ve got the flu and you’ve just thrown up and can’t think straight and the TV’s only on to give you something
to look at before you yack again. That’s it. Or, if you’re really in the mood for a new Van Wilder, just take some
Nyquil and watch the first one again. Who knows, you might have a coming-of-age awakening of your own.
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