Let's Party Like It's 1799
Marie Antoinette
Movie review by Nick Olds
I'm writing this as the only guy in a theater of fifty women ranging from late
teens to mothers of two. A group of three just sat down next to me and
apparently paid $10.50 to talk about how dark it is in here. I can't believe how
many empty and better seats they could be sitting in. Oh my God, she's even
taking the arm rest. Doesn't first come-first served mean anything? Damn,
now one of them is telling a story about telling a funny story. Screw this, I'm
gonna go sneak into The Prestige next door. It's probably - oh crap, here come
the previews...
I was really looking forward to Marie Antoinette, having loved Lost in Trans-
lation (wuss!) Hey, where'd that come from? Anyway, I liked this picture too.
Even though from the trailer I thought it was gonna be Footloose in France, with
some mod foreigner convincing the locals to lighten up, break tradition and
party like it's 1799. Basically, I was expecting a hipper King Ralph.
Alas, the soundtrack is the only hip part of Marie Antoinette, with New
Order, Gang of Four and The Strokes popping up every few minutes. Otherwise,
MA is a classical bio-pic that play like a documentary by sticking very close to
the story, at least until the surprise ending when... (SPOILER ALERT: SKIP TO
THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YA REALLY GIVE A FLYING FOIE GRAS ABOUT
WHAT DOES OR DOESN'T HAPPEN - Ed.)...she doesn't die. Sacre bleu!
What a letdown! We live in the gore-for-glory age of modern cinema. Maria's
pretty little head shoulda been rolling down the aisle in 3-D.
Still, I liked it. Though Sophia Coppola's got a reputation for diverse reviews
and Marie Antoinette promises to be no different. On one hand she captures the
French Revolution 101 overview, but doesn't use French actors or accents (so
you can see why they hated it at Cannes). But if Miss Coppola's goal was to make
her film accessible for American audiences, mission accomplished.
Another reason to like MA is that Sophia, like her father Francis Ford, has a
way of telling long, slow-moving epics without losing your attention (i.e. Apocalypse
Now, The Godfather, Lost In Translation, Peggy Sue Got Married, ok, every family
has at least one skeleton in the coat closet). During boring, but necessary, scenes of
plot development, they use quick cuts and bouncy music to keep you just interested
enough to keep watching. An effective method for movies that are 2+ hours.
Also worthwhile is Marie Antoinette's cautionary theme of what happens in a
relationship when you're not getting any action in le bedroom. You go crazy. Marie
keeps spending king's ransoms out of sexual frustration. Had to fill the void
somehow. Unfortunately by the time Louis XVI finally gives her some XXX
attention, it is too late and her self indulgences have bankrupted royal charities and
lead to her ultimate (and I mean ultimate) demise. Sex is indeed a powerful thang.
So, if you know Marie Antoinette's story, see it. And if you don't know much
about her, see it. It's worth watching once, despite a length and attention to historical
detail that are its key strengths and weaknesses. Better yet, wait till it comes out on
DVD and watch it with that special college girl or 20 something on your holiday
shopping list. She'll loose her head over it and maybe give you a little in zee process. slot machines
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