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Urban Anthropology
Photo: by Vladimir Perlovich
What
determines fashion? Who says
what is "in" this
season? Is mauve the new puce? Webster
says fashion
is
defined as “prevailing custom of dress and socializing"
As a man from the
all of life's
questions can be as chopped and dry as "Why
is the dollar green?" or
"Where is the Bathroom" and my
favorite "Where's the beef?"
We all know where that is,
but that’s
not the issue. This week’s $100,000,000
dollar
question is about fashion. The
answer
could be as simple as
fashion is what we make it. Bull
to that. Ever notice people
from the
because
they are Scottish. It has
to do with the way
fields of
corn and other grain look from inside a flying plane. They
look like a damned flannel shirt. Fashion
is area defined, but
this does not count for subcultures within our
communities.
Take the
Goths. Ask any Goth what they are about,
and you
will get a different answer, but I think it is a fashion thing.
Goth has also been described
as a resurrection
of Victorian
values. Well, who were
better dressed than Victorian
nobles? Many
of today’s Goths are just as well styled and
enjoy pleasures darker than liquid eyeliner. Painted up Anne
Rice fans dressed like The Crow play live
action role playing
games like Vampire: The Masquerade. Some
even take it a
step
further, call
themselves “Sanguinarians” and actually
drink each other’s blood. While
most just like black
mascara
and
white faces. Goth is fashion and if
you can quote "The
Raven", like "The Cure" and know every line
of "Inter-
view With a Vampire" by heart, you can pass for Goth,
pro-
viding you own at
least one black lipstick. After all, what
is more
menacing, a guy in plain blue jeans and flannel shirt
reading a
random book
on Wicca, or a black clad, corpse painted child of the night, reading
the same
text? In the book-
store of life, your
cover is what you are judged by.
Now
Punk, is rebellion in fashion as well a cry for attention. It offends
the norm
by presenting abnormal taste in fashion
combined with purposely afflicted pain.
Punks see life as pain, and in that, they are correct. But apathy is
the new A
rather
than anarchy and the Ramones and Sex Pistols have been replaced by
corporate
“Emo” creations like My
Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy. I
swear, if I hear "Dance, Dance"
again, I’ll…I’ll, I don’t know what, but I won’t
dance damn it. There are no true punks
anymore, if any ever truly
existed. The original punk music scene with its torn
clothes, nihilistic lyrics,
and manipulative management self destructed, leaving behind their whiny
grandchildren who
are now the future of music. Punk ultimately became nothing
more than fashion, and the realization that all things stem
from order, and
chaos, not one or the other. For further
insight into punk fashion and primal passion, watch "SLC
Punk"
starring Matthew Lillard, (Also worth a
look are the documentaries “The Filth and the Fury” and “End of the
Century” which
chronicle the pogo like rise and fall of the Sex Pistols and the
Ramones – Ed.)
In the
Eighties, they called them Club Kids. Today, we call them Ravers. They
listen
to techno, dance like insane
dervishes, and some often take “X” AKA Ecstasy.
You can spot your normal Ravers by their bright colors beads, glow
sticks and
ever lasting parties. Though Goths and Jocks may be found at these
clubs, but
the dance floor is owned by
the Ravers, whose subculture thrives on the beats
of the DJ and the green from their parent's wallets, except for the
more
enterprising clubbers who are also drug dealers, but that is for a
different
day. DJs like Paul Oakenfold, Keiko
and
electronic bands as far back as Kraftwerk laid the same beats that
Ravers still
dance to. For a pretty cool look at
this
culture’s dark side watch "Party Monster" starring Seth Green and
that kid from Home Alone. The movie is
based
on the book "Disco Blood Bath" by James St. James, a worthwhile read
while
waiting on line at the after-after-
hours club.
exam scores, were identified by their pocket protectors and made
infamous
in such ’80s films as "Revenge of the
Nerds" and" Real Genius".
Prophetic titles indeed now that being
smart is actually a requirement for getting by in
school that even Jocks take
computer programming. It was the fear of
technology, and not fashion, which drove people
away from the smart kid in
class. But without those so- called
nerds, the Ravers wouldn’t be able to program their
techno beats, nor would
punks have the amplifiers they so love to blow up. Anyone
who likes music either playing or
downloading owes a nerd some love. And thanks to mega success stories
like Bill
Gates, Steve Jobs and those You
Tube dudes, today’s nerd is more attractive and
less the outcast. How sexy is that
pocket protector now?
Meanwhile,
back in the weight room, there are the jocks, equally stereotypical in
appearance: letter jacket, football
jersey, wrestling headgear, and usually a shiny
Ford F-150 or Trans Am out in the parking lot. Jocks
are also seen as
womanizers, horn dogs
and loverboys (not to be confused with headband clad Canadian pop metal
enthusiasts). These
lines have blurred
over the years, as I’ve seen hockey playing anarchists who enjoy
arithmetic. Anyway, Jocks
normally are popular and accompanied
by the hottest girl in school, as they leave you in the dust. You envy
them, but
deep down, realize they come from the same compost heap you do, and go
through
the same song and dances that test
you on a daily basis. Albeit, they dance
better and can get a tutor for the tests.
Still the body wears thin and survival
comes down to what’s between your
ears (other than wax) and your will to live. Don’t
forget, jock is often followed by
strap;
the kind that holds dicks and nuts.
graphics, the five hundred pound chess champ,
the metaphysical Mexican, the wrestling pot dealer, and any number of
mismatched alternatives to any given culture. This non group absorbs
and
deflates with the number of strays who don’t
belong anywhere else. This is the group
where you find your quiet
genius and potential serial killer, sometimes one and
the same. Many outsiders
even become famous, rather than infamous somewhere down the line. I
can’t note
any
examples, but am sure everyone in the Drama Club was picked on by
someone
in another group and that helped drive
them to the Oscar podium. All number of
fashions comes into play with this mixed bag of nuts. Some
kids just stick with
Wall Mart and others
make their own style, Fashion Victims to some while others are
fashionistas to
come.
Having
multiple interests amongst the many music and fashion choices is not a
bad
thing. Diversity is the key to Unity.
Anyone should and could belong to any and
all of these subcultures. It essentially breaks down to a few main
things.
“The
Media” shows us what is supposed to be cool, and it’s up to the
individual to decide
where he or she belongs
within the various subcultures. We all pose as
something. True individuality died when the cave man created the second
wheel,
or lit the second fire. Everything has
been done, and we keep doing it. Anything
new is just an update of the old.
We
strive for words of our own and find ourselves regurgitating everything
our
parents told us. It’s best to discard
titles and just exist. Remember, calling
your self Jesus does not mean you can walk on water (no matter how much
Exstacy
you’ve taken). But those robes were
mighty fashionable.
Petri dish. Maybe we are just a culture on
the petri dish
of the Earth. Still let’s try not to
infect
everything and wear a
clean flannel, black t-shirt or hockey jersey once in a while.
Take
a Joke
or Take a SeatText By S. A. Patterson
Photo by Vladimir Perlovich
Humor is a very subjective thing and not counting the
Jackass fellows, we have come a long way from the days
of court jesters and jugglers. What people laugh at now
differs greatly yet is still true to the classic themes of
comedy. Today's "America's Funniest Home Video" would
not be considered so funny fifteen years ago. How amusing
is it to see someone scraping his face off, even if he wins a
few grand. Ok, it's hilarious, but part of me still says Ouch!
These days, it's all about physical humor. How "edgy" is it
going to get before audiences realize the joke is really on
hem? A man staples his scrotum to his leg, among other
explicit act, while we pay to take joy and laugh at the self
torture. When did a clown telling jokes in a funny hat lose
its charm. True, clowns are terrifying, but the art of telling
a joke is fading faster than the scars on Bam Margera's ass,
which ain't going anywhere anytime soon.
is riding a bull bare-ass, go to your local comedy club and
get a real laugh. These people travel, and get paid poorly to do what they do. Don't go expecting Robin
Williams or George Carlin. The ones that make the big bucks rarely appear at Yuck Yucks. And if you do
see a good comedian, by him or her a good drink. And don't be afraid of audience participation, I went
toe-to-toe with a comedian one night, and he was absolutely loving it. I am surprised I was not thrown out
for heckling, but if you make a seasoned comic laugh, it makes you both feel good. I bought him a drink
and made a friend. Later he did George Carlin's "Seven Words You Can't Say On Television" with an equal
number of tequilas and beers in him (after being on stage for an hour and a half). I will probably never see
him again, but he changed my view of comedians totally. They are people who speak from life experience,
like everyone else. And man can they drink.
be afraid of what you may find, in yourself or on the screen. Every comedian knows this joke, and
probably has his/her own version. And if you still can't take a joke, take a few tips from the French,
refrain from bathing, welcome the occasional German invasion and worship the films of Jerry Lewis.
Two out of zee three ain't bad. "Hey Lady!"
SP
Rabbits
and the
Marquis
De SadePhoto by Vladimir Perlovich
What can be written about when everything else has been
written about? You have your bibles, Korans, and other
voluminous religious doctrines, so thats out of the question.
You don't want the crazy Christians coming at you with pitch
forks, screaming "Kill the monster!" Nor do you want to hear
"Kill the Infidel!" shouted by an Islamic suicide bomber. The
world has lost its sense of humor, but that's for another day.
Today is for the word. tomorrow, the Dream.
Back to business, so to speak. Writing brings about a courage in
many, giving them the strength they would never muster in the
day-to-day. It has given power to the little man for years. Take
the Marquis D' Sade. He wrote volumes of a basely pornographic
nature and was imprisoned for it. The church said he was mad. Yet
he still managed to get his word out. The pen may be mightier than
the sword, but when was the last time you saw someone stabbed
with a pen? Still, words can be very powerful tools indeed. If used
improperly though, there is a problem.
Which brings me to media today. Slanderous Snakes, feeding us
the propaganda Big Brother deems safe. Safe for us or them?
Someone once told me that the Government will only release to us what they truly want us to know. I thought about
this for some time and came to the conclusion that the Government (whatever ruling body there truly is behind the
power-heads we see on the daily news) wants us to be tough and truly fend for ourselves. Why else, then would The
Anarchist Cookbook still be able for purchase on E-bay? Anyway, back to my point. Local media are trying to turn the
public into docile rabbits and are controlling us through fear. Nuclear War? Seriously, human instinct is stronger than
that. There is too much vital instinct to stay alive for us to totally destroy each other. Games that people play...
Tomorrow is not looking too bright. Like I said, Tomorrow is the Dream and at the current rate of degradation and
degeneration of the populi, Tomorrow is looking like the Nightmare, instead. Not enough people have the balls to
spill the truth and this is part of the problem. Those who do, get silenced (R.I.P. HST). So, the only advice I can truly
give is offend everyone, don't pick a group. And if someone has an opinion, don't shove yours down their throat.
Without compromise and teamwork, I do not care how solitary a writer thinks he is, there is no chance. Someone
might pass along a piece to a friend, and "boom" (as in badda boom) someone contacts them, wanting more. Without
that whole process, we might as well be printing this shit off with a hand press and passing it off to our neighbors.
Which is not an entirely bad idea.
So, we can be like rabbits, waiting for slaughter, or the Marquis de Sade, awaiting the same slaughter, but fighting
tooth and nail with sword (quill) in hand. I choose to fight. And if I have to eat a few rabbits along the way, so be it.
Choose wisely, because we all can't be wolves.
SP
Got something that's chaffing your hide? First try some talcum powder and if that doesn't do the trick write to: crackpots@sexgunsandmotorcycles.com Note, pieces may be edited for punctuation, spelling and just to help
the damn thing make sense. So put down the tequila and give a thorough read through before sending, ok?
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